A nod to the unknown lipstick-addicted woman at Herzog Wine Cellars

While sipping a glass of a petite sirah [sic], I listened to the people around my wife and me.

Their clothing styles indicated they were wanting to appear sophisticated, men in collared shirts and slacks, women in dresses.

I was in a sweaty T-shirt bearing the Jameson whiskey logo and a pair of shorts stained from eating a juicy apple and crumbly cupcake after hiking several hours in Sycamore Canyon.

My wife and I stood at the bar and stood out.

The couple beside my wife had obviously enjoyed at least one glass of wine.  They were quite jovial, joking about Becky the bartender keeping the place lively, even though, to me, Becky appeared tired and ready for the workday to end.

My wife looked at the wine sipping selections for the day.

"Becky, dahling, we're from Alabama and don't know a thing about your wine.  Can you make a suggestion?"

Becky's eyes widened, like she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Alabama?  Well, what do you prefer?  Dry, sweet, red, white?"

"Thanks for asking, honey.  My husband likes dry, red wines and I tend to drink the white ones."

"Well, the cabs and the syrahs are pretty dry."

I nodded.  "In that case, start me with the petite sirah."

"Okay.  And you, ma'am?"

"I'll try the chardonnay."

The woman beside my wife smiled as she handed a tube of lip balm for Becky to put on on the woman's charge card.  "Great choice.  You know, I have an obsession.  I'm addicted to lip balms, lip gloss, lipstick, you name it."

My wife looked from me to the woman.  "Is that so?"

"Yes.  And you know what else?  Did you know that ninety percent of lipstick is seaweed gook?"

I laughed.  "What?"

"Yes, the extracts of seaweed.  You know, all that slimy stuff that makes seaweed so tasty to fish, I guess."

I sipped my wine and laughed some more.  "Seaweed?"

"Yes.  Isn't Alabama near the Gulf Coast?  Do you have seaweed?  I bet most of the lipstick or lip gloss your wife uses is made of seaweed, too."

My wife turned to me and gave me one of those "do you think the person next to me has been drinking too much?" look.

I blinked, my secret "nod" to let my wife know I understood what she was saying, and looked at the woman's husband.

"So, where are you guys from?"

The man turned to me.  "Around here.  We're taking a Valentine's Day winery tour."

"Uh-huh.  Well, it sounds like you've had fun."

"Loads!"  He looked at my T-shirt and shorts and then back at my eyes.  "Say, you guys doing the tour, too?"

"Nope.  Just got through hiking Sycamore Canyon and decided to stop for a glass of wine before we showered and dressed for dinner."

"Hey, that sounds great.  Good luck to you guys.  And watch out for Becky!  She'll slip another glass of wine under your nose before you've had a chance to finish your first three."

Ninety percent of lipstick is seaweed, huh?  Some quick checks on the Internet to find out:

Unverified history of lipstick
Yahoo! answers
Algae in lipstick
Many uses of seaweed
Wikipedia entry, of course
Example of L'Oreal lipstick ingredients
How lipstick is made

So there you have it, an enjoyable conversation, good wine and no proof that seaweed is 90% of lipstick, according to random Internet web pages not straight from the lipstick makers' mouths.

As far as lipstick addiction goes, let's save that for a future discussion.