And now, back to your regularly scheduled program, which we so rudely interrupted to present you timely non-news to show we have reporters on the scene and producers in the field who insist on getting their stories on the air, no matter how uninteresting...
"Okay, boys. This is how it's gonna be, see. The two of youse been rattin' us out, see. And we..."
"Yes, yes, we see. So what's the point, boss? We gonna waste them here or not? 'Cause otherwise, my ol' lady is crawling up and down my back with texts tellin' me it's time I picked up the baby from daycare."
"'Baby from daycare,' you idiot, is a code phrase. Don't you know nothin'?"
"Yeah, code phrase for I ain't gonna be gettin' any for next two weeks."
"You numb skull, your ol' lady's on the payroll, see. And we..."
"Boss, I see a lot of things. You really ought to visit a speech therapist and get rid o' yo' habit of sayin' 'see' at the end of every sentence."
"We'll see about that. You put a bullet in these wise guys, and Dell, you take 'em out back and wrap 'em up nice and clean, see. And we..."
"There you go again, boss."
"Yeah, yeah, I get it. So, Dell, you put 'em in the middle o' the dumpster so no one notices nothin' suspicious,see...okay, I heard myself that time. You don't need to remind me."
"Good, boss, 'cause it's a really annoyin' habit. Right, Dell?"
"Chip, man, you got your own problems. Like callin' this dude 'boss.' He's an advisor from that mercenary outfit that was put out of work recently due to government cutback. That's all. He's just like us, only better trained and well-armed."
"Chip, you keep callin' me 'boss' and I'll make sure you get a bigger cut of the next armed robbery."
"Right, boss. Sorry, Dell, like he said, you treat a man with respect and he gives it back in cold, hard cash."
"You sick, Chip. This dude ain't got no say in what we get paid. He's a lyin' bastard - it's in his DNA."
"Well, that's 'cause he's still got human parts in him. Besides, I've got a backlog of repairs that I have to pay for before I completely break down. If I don't start makin' some payments, they'll shut me off."
"Man, I told you. They won't shut you down. You're like prototype number 1 with the home boys. They use you to test out new features."
"That's right, Dell. Chip, you're our best and brightest. Your intuitiveness and future scenario projection algorithms are the most unique in the industry, see. Tell you what. I'll pay for some of your backlog myself just to show Dell that he's mistaken, after you guys smoke these two."
"Sure, boss, anything you say. By the way, a woman walkin' her dog through the alley as she takes a shortcut to visit her dyin' aunt won't be able to pull her dog away from the dumpster so she'll call the police within two hours of our dumpin' the bodies."
"In that case, take care of 'em now. See, Dell, see."
"Whatever you say, dude. You're the boss in these parts, I hear."
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