Like most folks around these parts, brushing your teeth is a daily chore.
You grab the free toothbrush given to you by your dentist or the Tim Allen souped-up VibraShaky and grind food stuff into and around your teeth, take a drink of water, swirl it around in your mouth and then spit it out, assuming the food stuff you ground into your teeth will follow the spittle.
My friend was a big fan of Tool Time.
For example, when his heat pump quit working in the middle of all this recent cold weather, he brought an HVAC guy in to install a new one but my friend kept the old one.
He pulled the whole house fan out of the heat pump and attached it to the top of his riding lawn mower, turning his mowing experience into an electric airboat joy ride (just don't stand behind the mower while it turns blades of grass and little rocks into military-grade projectiles).
So, when it comes to anything, my friend puts his creative bent to full use.
Therefore, when he invited me over to his house yesterday for lunch, I figured I was in for a real treat.
After lunch, my friend ushered me into his gizmo-filled bathroom to see his latest masterpiece.
Ladies and Gentlemen, your attention, s'il vous plaît. Here in front of you, presented to the public for the very first time, before even our marketing wizards could crowdsource a name for all ages, we give you...[drum roll please]
The Carwash For Teeth!
As the Carwash For Teeth enters your mouth, it will use a laser system to create a three-dimensional map of the area, including microscopic examination of the small pockets in your enamel that neither you nor your dentist can see.
The Carwash For Teeth will then unfold a set of clamps to secure the cleaning appliances about to go to work on extracting foreign material and restoring your teeth to their perfect natural health.
The first appliance, the PreWash, will move from tooth to tooth applying a thin coat of enamel-safe solvent.
The second appliance, the Dual Scrubber-Vac, will apply a gentle but steady stream of water, first to the gums, insides of the cheeks and top/bottom of tongue, evacuating the detritus and excess liquid as it goes, and then to the teeth.
And here's where it really gets good.
My friend's third and secret appliance will use a subnuclear DNA analysis appliance to identify any "bad" organisms residing in the mouth and zap them, leaving your mouth with open spaces and the reconstituted states of energy of the "bad" organisms on which the "good" bacteria and other organisms can feed and spread their colonies.
The final appliance will strengthen your teeth's enamel through a patented process I cannot mention here (my friend is keen on NDAs, as he should be) but I can tell you it distinguishes between live teeth and artificial teeth, able to switch strengthening programs on the fly.
After the Carwash For Teeth has finished, it unclamps from the inside of your mouth and displays one of a series of faces, from sad to happy, along with a score between 1 and 100, and an appropriate song, to tell you how well your mouth performed from one cleaning to the next.
Of course, you can transfer your teeth cleaning rating data to your favourite device - smartphone, MP3 player, e-reader, tablet, PC, etc. - to show your friends and family on your social network not only your mouth health but also a not-so-subtle advert for the product.
My friend is working on the final details of the product and should have it ready for DFT and DFM verification before going full blast into production.
He offered to let me try the Carwash For Teeth but I declined, postponing my "free trial" until he'd convinced more than himself and the family dog to use it on a regular basis ("See," he told me, "the Carwash For Teeth is such a safe, self-cleaning, sanitary invention, I trust myself to share this with the dog and not worry about human-canine disease transmission." But does the dog trust him?).
More as it develops...
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