Members of the U.S. Congress showed a brave and unified front today when they told members of the press that MoUSC (pronounced 'mouse') would no longer take a salary, fringe benefits, retirement pays or industrial kickbacks through PACs.
They pledged they would earn money the old-fashioned way, through earning the trust of customers, one at a time.
During questioning the MoUSC would not affirm or deny their right to work as lobbyists or remain on retainer (or is that retain on remainder?) as honourary board members of prominent industries seeking favour with the U.S. government for lucrative contracts.
In other industry news, the country music conglomerate is reviewing its contracts with the Hollywood media moguls, concerned that mediocrity and bad movie plots are ruining the purity of C&W music.
Rap music moguls are also questioning the portrayal of their stars, many of them classically trained at prestigious schools like Julliard.
Carlos Slim has not weighed in on the subject of negative images associated with gangs of Mexico, leaving the general public questioning halleged involvement in illegal activities himself.
Bookies are divided over the point spread.
A secret physics society revealed that the knapsack problem is the solution to transforming humans into the nonwaveparticles needed to travel from one version to another of the intertwined universes. Communication to this universe is accomplished through nudging light waveparticles to an almost imperceptibly slightly higher speed spaced at what looks to us like millions of years apart.
Unfortunately, the physicists explained, time units, perceived by us as connected to solar cycles, lives, generations, and civilisations, are not megauniversally scaled the same (think metric vs. U.S./imperial units).
The timescale at which others communicate across universal barriers is why major messages take so long for us to communicate to each successive global civilisation.
However, our relatively short lives lead us to impatience which leads to war, overconsumption, famine and disease-spreading - we cannot easily conceive a message that takes 10,000 or 1,000,000 years to convey.
In farm news, it's time. You farmers know what that means.
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