My wife and I do not have a regular, or rather, favourite produce market.
By way of convenience, we purchase most of our food products at either Publix or Walmart but we make sure we visit farmers' markets and make the occasional tour through Earth Fare or similar specialty stores for variety.
We were glad to hear that Walmart and the Housewife of the White House (a/k/a the First Lady; a/k/a the White Housewife (sorry, Mickie, I couldn't resist the juxtaposition)), Mrs. Barack Obama, announced the industry-leading effort to make healthy food choices more affordable.
On a separate note, the Conglomerate today announced that in order to increase profits and prevent retail businesses from having to put all their sales in one seasonal basket, Christmas season is being split in half.
Those born on odd days - 1, 3, 5, etc. - will celebrate Christmas on its regularly scheduled day in December (or January in the Orthodox system).
Those born on even days - 2, 4, 6, etc. - will celebrate Christmas on 25th June, or its equivalent in your local calendrical system.
Those taking exception to this new system will have to petition the Conglomerate for permission to switch from one day to the other.
Families or coworkers caught casually celebrating the holiday together, or more specifically, accepting gifts on the day for which you and/or they are not permitted to celebrate, will be barred from giving or accepting gifts for a period of years determined by the level of expense associated with your and/or their celebration.
In a related note, birth centers are now scheduling specific times and dates to accommodate pregnant women who choose to go through the natural birth process. Births may be arranged so that all family members are born on odd or even days. They may also be arranged to occur within the range of newly-organised signs of the zodiac.
Kodiak bears with Kodak cameras will not be accommodated, however much they want to participate in this joyous new celebration of All Things Commercial.
The Conglomerate is taking the bears' request under consideration and seeking advisement about other species being allowed to shop for Christmas now that they have a level of self-awareness nearly the same as ours.
The Conglomerate continues the ban on advertisements directed toward nonhuman species, giving the other species the opportunity to educate themselves about common fallacies, tautologies and illogical suppositions buried in many adverts.
Veterinarians for Equal Access to Life (VEAL) applauded the Conglomerate's stand on this important issue of species equality, despite hoping that the Conglomerate would issue a Universal Rights of Species proclamation.
Thousands of comedians died today but no apocalyptic group took notice and sounded the alarm that the end is near. Satirists and satyrs are rolling over in their eternal sleep to keep from getting cloud or brimstone sores, as the case may be.
It was fun to watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune over the past few weeks to observe the time-delayed buildup and release of tension associated with the midterm Congressional elections.
Sociology of the Future is also sociology of the nearterm past. My Futurists University will issue you a bachelor's degree if you can give us all the correct answers (or at least 56% of them (+/- 5%), if you pay us enough), without knowing the questions, of course, or the courses' syllabi.
