Saturday, January 29, 2011

In political snooze...er, news:

Mitt Romney transferred funds out of an anonymous PAC account to Tracy Morgan as a thank-you payment for his assistance in kicking off the Romney-Palin 2012 U.S. executive leadership campaign this week.  Lorne Michaels denied involvement in the viral effort or any connection with Rand Paul, period.

The citizens of the United States of Arabia (USA) declared their independence and announced their first official act, annexing Iran and freeing Iranians from years of so-called religious political leadership.  True Islamic followers rejoiced, agreeing that a theocracy is inconsistent with the idea of the purity of the divine.

Hindus have not joined forces with Wiccans to demand political redistricting to ensure better representation in U.S. Congress.  India denies any involvement in secretly supporting the so-called Mothers Aghast, Against Monotheism (MA'AM).

Libyans have given Qaddafi two days to decide to defect after he was ousted upon formation of the new USA.

Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan and Pakistan renounced their independence and joined the new USA, resulting in a 99.9% drop in terrorist bombing because the people have only themselves to blame for their problems now.

Chechens, responsible for 0.01% of terrorist bombings, are said to be holding high-level meetings with the Arabian nation to determine if their longstanding dispute with the Russian Federation should be settled by aligning with the Arabian democracy, which still keeps them separate from Russia but no longer engaged in a holy war.

China reiterated the fact that Tibet is a province of free people but not free to join the new USA.

Washington, Vermont and Texas have opened diplomatic offices in the largest cities of the new USA, taking one step closer to declaring their own independent nations where freedom and democracy still mean something.  All three states stressed the fact that Biden is not eligible to run for dictator of their governments, but he is free to join Mubarek and Qaddafi in seeking a country that will recognise such - Chavez said neither Venezuela nor Cuba are options for the countryless men.

No comments:

Post a Comment