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Thoughts While Driving The Car From Knoxville
Interpersonal communication --
When conversing with someone else
(One or more persons),
I find that person influences my thoughts and reactions
In that I see the reflection of myself in that person
And see what qualities (reactions) I want to have reflected.
"We are who our friends are."
As we change, our vocabularies change,
Thus our tools for communication change,
So life is an ongoing conversation
To establish or determine what our vocabularies are
But changing them at the same time.
"We all die alone."
We die with our last thoughts unspoken.
- 12 January 1986
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Thoughts While Driving The Car To Knoxville
Qualities...that's what it was...
Today I realized that it was the same qualities...
That that person had the same qualities as I had...
And my dream [emotion/draw] was just my admiration of
that person having the same qualities.
I have always admired them.
It gives you that ability to do, get-out-and-go chutzpah,
That...That...uh...that urge to...
Achieve.
How can you help but admire that?
That's how I get up and go. I just get it out real quick.
Isn't that what a sane person does?
- 18 January 1986
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Leaving Knoxville Again
Isn't it funny?
I look forward to this feeling
Of the absence of human touch.
What is my natural repulsion
To the touch of other humans?
M & P,
Give me a little longer
To figure out you guys aren't perfect.
- 19 January 1986
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Sleepfulness and Wakelessness
I opened my eyes and the dawn spoke to me in a giant whisper, a sound that hinted of warm afternoons and apples falling onto fresh-cut grass.
I closed my eyes to recall the dreams, the insane fantasies from the inner universe untouched by Time.
My eyes opened or closed, my thoughts see the dawn and the dreams as one. No beginning or end, no infinity in which to hide, both time and timelessness intertwined to form my world, an existence totally apart from me but really me apart from the world; "I" has no bounds.
This world a highway and I a driver asleep at the wheel.
Thank God, God bless you, Goddamn -- God takes many forms.
"Yessir. Just visitin' this planet. Won't be here long."
I'm off to dream a world of peace where sleeping forms control.
I'm off to Never-Never Land, never to return.
I'm gone. Goodbye. Goodnight.
- 22 January 1986
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Waiting for Inspiration
Magritte.
"Living with your mind is a personal responsibility."
In this...this and that, this and that, this and that...
Silence except for a classical concert
On public radio (redundant) station,
I wait for the mental boost to write on subjects I wish to discuss.
A poem about looking at a fire,
Staring into the flames,
Engulfing the coals for later nourishment.
A story about my eavesdropping visit to the Hyland Plasma Center:
"What have you been doing with yourself?"
"Yeah, well, I'm on probation for five years."
"Why don't we buy a half gallon after this?"
A story of sexual fantasies.
- 23 January 1986
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